nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
there is glitter all over my balls
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
