why didn't you poke me back
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
