Your mouth is God's brothel.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
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you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
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The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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