Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
false alarm. still invincible.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
