Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Couch. On fire.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
