I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
