ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
