Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
