i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
