my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
