JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
