Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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