i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
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