I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Randomize
