That's intense
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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