Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
