Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
