hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
