Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
