An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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