Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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