using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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