Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so let's talk penis.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
