Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
