My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
