If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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