I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
