I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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