I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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