i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
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Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
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Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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