hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
