I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
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you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
