Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on

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  (214): Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on http://tfl.nu/x4zw
  Replies (11) Good night (868) Bad night (968) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...

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  (606): A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week... http://tfl.nu/yplk
  Replies (51) Good night (5092) Bad night (530) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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  (304): i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers. http://tfl.nu/rz0s
  Replies (21) Good night (4150) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol

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  (920): it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol http://tfl.nu/j58z
  Replies (4) Good night (2815) Bad night (708) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.

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  (347): He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/v3jd
  Replies (30) Good night (4381) Bad night (1438) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.

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  (614): And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts. http://tfl.nu/c0eu
  Replies (5) Good night (960) Bad night (2319) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.

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  (315): He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any. http://tfl.nu/g0ay
  Replies (5) Good night (491) Bad night (2170) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Ya that ship has sailed dude

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  (317): The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh. (1-317): Ya that ship has sailed dude http://tfl.nu/5hyc
  Replies (4) Good night (1168) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire

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  (+61): one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire http://tfl.nu/ff4y
  Replies (5) Good night (1458) Bad night (520) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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  (316): She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public. http://tfl.nu/5b68
  Replies (3) Good night (1235) Bad night (280)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend

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  (250): We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend http://tfl.nu/c0is
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.

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  (816): They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/cb9a
  Replies (2) Good night (358) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.

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  (207): Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked. http://tfl.nu/4t3j
  Replies (9) Good night (1168) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?

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  (+44): Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card? http://tfl.nu/fw4l
  Replies (4) Good night (1053) Bad night (267) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.

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  (202): I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself. http://tfl.nu/zw8t
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (194) Order T-Shirt

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