Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

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  (406): my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute http://tfl.nu/00es
  Replies (33) Good night (25443) Bad night (1402)
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  (310): View more from California

  you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.

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  (310): you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday. http://tfl.nu/y9g2
  Replies (6) Good night (3508) Bad night (603)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..

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  (727): And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%.. http://tfl.nu/d4bk
  Replies (14) Good night (2076) Bad night (3737)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.

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  (720): Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight. http://tfl.nu/wlf9
  Replies (37) Good night (8141) Bad night (765)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me

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  (201): we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me http://tfl.nu/mhrn
  Replies (34) Good night (711) Bad night (4993)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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  (571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c
  Replies (5) Good night (3497) Bad night (1377)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."

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  (970): Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college." http://tfl.nu/qe42
  Replies (19) Good night (4668) Bad night (1172)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take

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  (303): If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take http://tfl.nu/wz90
  Replies (23) Good night (1279) Bad night (4948)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics

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  (727): its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics http://tfl.nu/k6wq
  Replies (22) Good night (4199) Bad night (997)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.

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  (406): He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana. http://tfl.nu/b27k
  Replies (9) Good night (3134) Bad night (898)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did she buy you pizza?

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  (610): the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around. (215): did she buy you pizza? http://tfl.nu/k5jd
  Replies (9) Good night (2339) Bad night (717)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.

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  (901): Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here. http://tfl.nu/g9cl
  Replies (1) Good night (557) Bad night (667)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.

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  (940): No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird. http://tfl.nu/3ffu
  Replies (3) Good night (392) Bad night (709)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.

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  (828): Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart. http://tfl.nu/7jwu
  Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (346)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.

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  (520): You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha. http://tfl.nu/0ooa
  Replies (3) Good night (523) Bad night (296)

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