Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me

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  (323): Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me http://tfl.nu/d8jq
  Replies (9) Good night (4327) Bad night (2015)
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  (424): View more from California

  It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.

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  (424): It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection. http://tfl.nu/sw7e
  Replies (2) Good night (770) Bad night (1077)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  New low: just hacked my moms facebook

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  (352): New low: just hacked my moms facebook http://tfl.nu/hg9x
  Replies (18) Good night (714) Bad night (2512)
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  (818): View more from California

  i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids

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  (818): i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids http://tfl.nu/la8t
  Replies (41) Good night (1295) Bad night (5033)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3528) Bad night (1332)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.

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  (404): Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm. http://tfl.nu/cydy
  Replies (12) Good night (6147) Bad night (982)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.

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  (416): sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you. http://tfl.nu/2uqq
  Replies (16) Good night (3860) Bad night (2396)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night

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  (314): Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night http://tfl.nu/67n5
  Replies (10) Good night (2712) Bad night (725)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level

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  (740): Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level http://tfl.nu/3z9c
  Replies (24) Good night (1135) Bad night (3350)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?

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  (734): and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k? http://tfl.nu/xp0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1423) Bad night (503)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.

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  (520): Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/0jj8
  Replies (8) Good night (824) Bad night (1634)
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  (280): View more from

  So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.

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  (280): So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on. http://tfl.nu/vkfv
  Replies (12) Good night (2128) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting

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  (772): Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting http://tfl.nu/dlj4
  Replies (2) Good night (937) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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  (615): I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls. (1-615): Who in tha hell do u hang out with? http://tfl.nu/cxra
  Replies (5) Good night (1998) Bad night (560)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.

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  (307): He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver. http://tfl.nu/9q9z
  Replies (10) Good night (986) Bad night (218)

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