You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
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dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
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My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.