I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
25 Adults Reveal The Most Embarrassing Stories From When They Were Kids
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit