I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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