About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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