Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.

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  (323): I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps. http://tfl.nu/nh7r
  Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (510)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.

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  (732): They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody. http://tfl.nu/blud
  Replies (55) Good night (11042) Bad night (1130)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

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  (207): Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS http://tfl.nu/yr3m
  Replies (8) Good night (4272) Bad night (688)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.

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  (253): dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it. http://tfl.nu/9jbv
  Replies (17) Good night (884) Bad night (5100)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.

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  (615): When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick. http://tfl.nu/ip3w
  Replies (4) Good night (2331) Bad night (794)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed

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  (561): Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed http://tfl.nu/ippt
  Replies (9) Good night (2537) Bad night (836)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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  (513): I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out? http://tfl.nu/sosx
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (1145)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.

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  (413): If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night. http://tfl.nu/7nph
  Replies (6) Good night (1914) Bad night (1364)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.

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  (267): I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten. http://tfl.nu/d8ik
  Replies (10) Good night (858) Bad night (1194)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna

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  (651): drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna http://tfl.nu/yd45
  Replies (3) Good night (413) Bad night (1617)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks

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  (386): I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks http://tfl.nu/f8et
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (255)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?

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  (513): So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night. (1-513): Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though? http://tfl.nu/ren0
  Replies (2) Good night (569) Bad night (329)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart

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  (316): Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart http://tfl.nu/0j6w
  Replies (2) Good night (637) Bad night (256)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier

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  (207): i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier http://tfl.nu/yoel
  Replies (4) Good night (672) Bad night (256)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.

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  (+44): There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok. http://tfl.nu/5g3s
  Replies (0) Good night (301) Bad night (358)

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