lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
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Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
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It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?