If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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