I'm eating all of the evidence.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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