How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
