This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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