how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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