So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
