She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize