....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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