I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
