Sponge bath it is.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
