If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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