This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
