He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
