just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
