do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
