You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
