I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
