I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
