I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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