drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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