Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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