She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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