You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
