I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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