North Korea, Best Korea!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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