butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It's Friday. Sex?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
