Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
