What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
