Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
