I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
pop tarts are not kleenex
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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