just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
