Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
