Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i don't like sucking hair
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
