And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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