it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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