I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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