the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
