She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
