id be glad to
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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