what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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