ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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