Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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